MOVIE REVIEWS

See that tank on the front cover? It's a walking tank. That's not a spoiler you literally see that in the opening scene (a flash forward), so why would they not make use of that fact as promotional material? I guess, because, like the entire movie itself, its super dumb. _Final rating:★½: - Boring/disappointing. Avoid where possible._

Super Shark, a 2011 Sharksploitation movie. It barely started and there's a badass tank mech with legs shooting a shark, kick ass!! But I can tell it's gonna be a doozy because it has a bad 90s style theme song. And of course what is a Sharksploitation movie without the bikinis and the perverts to gawk at them? But we're here for the sharks are we not? Kat really steals the show in the movie I think. And of course Greg has binoculars and you know what he does with them. I thought the submarine actors did a good job too yaknow for a b movie. This Dynamite Stevens guy is too much I think but he's a plot device to get a bunch of women to twerk so I guess that's why he's in this. And it's time for the poorly rendered CGI shark! Mutherfuckin shark just eats everyone in one bite jeez. And why the reporter look like that? I mean she's a very stiff actor too not good at all. And finally the army gets involved in a monster movie! "The Local Economy depends on it" ah yes the most important thing for the government has to worry about when a super shark attacks. HOLY SHIT!! The end fight is definitely the best part the tank fucking kicks the shark!!!! This movie has some rewatchability, especially the end fight.