MOVIE REVIEWS

***Grade B version of “Halloween” with the setting of “The House on Sorority Row”*** “Sorority House Massacre” (1986) combines the plot of "Halloween" (psycho killer escapes asylum and goes after his little sister) with the sorority house setting of "The House on Sorority Row" (1983) and "Black Christmas” (1974). But the production values are subpar by comparison, sparking some to call it the worst 80's slasher film. It’s true that the movie starts shaky with filmmaking akin to an old soap opera, but it builds some suspense in the second half. And there are a few gems, like when Beth's sorta-date (the short, dark-haired guy) says, "I just like being with you." This shows that the writer actually put in some effort despite the Grade B (or Grade C) production values. The fact that there’s no camp and everything plays out deadly seriously is a plus. The film is short and sweet at 1 hour, 14 minutes; it was shot in Los Angeles. GRADE: C

Which one was this? I can't really remember. I do, however, know it was the movie where they hire a lot of women and require them all to take their clothes off. I recall a shower scene in there somewhere. But that could be a different movie exactly like this one. And then I remember the women running around screaming in undies that are really only worn in the bedroom. Was there a plot? Not really, it was just an excuse for nudity and undies. But, you already knew all of that when you sat down to watch this. Because, honestly in film making, they aren't really trying to pass it off as anything other than an excuse to film young naked breasts and you don't really get anything but that. So, why are you reading this? You know exactly what this movie is about. You knew that before you even clicked on this review. But, at least the review is as honest as the movie. If you are expecting more than that, there is something seriously wrong with you.