MOVIE REVIEWS

_**The Satanic Rites of Ernest Borgnine**_ A group of goat-sucking buffoons have set up shop in a desolate ghost town in the Southwest wherein the leader (Borgnine) is hell-bent on getting a book of blood contracts from the Preston family, who live nearby. William Shatner and Tom Skerritt play the Preston brothers while Eddie Albert is on hand as a psychic researcher. "The Devil’s Rain" (1975) comes in the tradition of satanic-themed movies of the 60s and early 70s, such as “The Devil Rides Out” (1968), “The Brotherhood of Satan” (1971) and “Race with the Devil” (1975). The success of “Rosemary’s Baby” (1968) and “The Exorcist” (1973) naturally attracted filmmakers to the topic. Rob Zombie's "The Lords of Salem" (2012) is a worthy modern example of the genre. Unfortunately, “The Devil’s Rain” illustrates what can go wrong when the topic is handled without wise restraint. The cast, locations, colorful sets/props and special effects are fine, even great, but the cartoonish satanism is so over-the-top it's more amusing than scary, which isn’t helped by a painfully dull tale, bad storytelling, protagonists you don’t care about and too much filler (like melting faces at the end that goes on and on). The trivia concerning the flick is more interesting than the film itself. Examples include: Borgnine’s claim that the movie was funded by the Mafia and he didn’t even get paid (after all, how can you force the Mob to pay up?); the Shatner-cast mask that looks like Michael Myers’ mask in “Halloween” (1978); Travolta’s theatrical debut in a small role; John’s receiving a copy of Dianetics on set from Joan Prather (who is notable on the feminine front), which led to Travolta converting to Sciencefictionology; and the presence of LaVey & his wife in small roles. If you’re not in the know, LaVey capitalized on the emerging interest in satanism in the early 60s and sprung his ‘church’ of satan in 1966. "The Devil Rides Out" and "Rosemary's Baby" went into production the next year. The film runs 1 hour, 26 minutes, and was shot in Durango, Mexico. GRADE: C-/D+ (3.5/10)

A cast of talent that includes Shatner, Borgnine, Lupino, with Keenan Wynn, Tom Skerritt and Eddie Albert ought to make for a decent horror film to watch. Well, I'm sorry to have to rain on their parade but it's definitely not the case here - this is a shocker. The thread is based on an old Satanic cult leader who is burned at the stake by the local townsfolk. He vows to return and avenge himself on their descendants - and with the assistance of the "Book of Blood Contracts" returns decades later to do exactly that - and his special quirk is that he can quite literally melt them... It's a make-up artist's wet dream; every colour, shade and hue of wax, glue and latex crops up as he wreaks devastation before, thankfully, Albert "Dr. Richards" starts to formulate a strategy to defeat this reincarnated epitome of evil (Ernest Borgnine). The score is loud and intrusive and the dreadful script is matched only by the hammy over-acting; I shudder to think how much Bourbon must have been consumed in the Winnebago's during filming.... One to miss.