MOVIE REVIEWS

**Catwoman shocks at every turn proving it can invent new ways to get worse. A true masterpiece of terrible nonsense.** Oh my… there does not exist a proper combination of words to describe the insane ridiculousness of this film. Catwoman is the most 2000s movie to ever 2000. The grunge soundtrack, the leather costumes, corporate greed, the non-existent plot, and the spastic editing all explain this movie claiming 4 Razzies and three additional nominations. It’s hilariously bad at every level. The basketball scene is iconic for having dozens of cuts in a matter of seconds, almost causing motion sickness. Halle Berry tries her best, but nothing can salvage this wreck. Honestly, it’s worth watching to live in awe that this movie actually exists.

"Patience Philips" (Halle Berry) is an artist pretty much afraid of her own shadow who finds herself embroiled in a scheme by her cosmetics company employer with plans to distribute an unique anti-aging formula. Luckily for her, though, she also encounters Frances Conroy "Ophelia" and is soon in possession of some amazing powers giving her a ninja-like athleticism, strength, and flexibility - just like, well, a cat! The story itself it pretty lame, Sharon Stone is "Laurel", the scheming boss and Hollywood's flirtation with the totally hopeless Benjamin Bratt "Tom Lone" was still in full tilt as we embark on a truly comic book exercise in expertly choreographed but totally sterile set-piece action sequences. Halle looks great, lithe, supple and I like to think she was in on the joke all along; for a joke this definitely is.